Twenty three days in. I am twenty three days into my latest recipe for disaster…namely Kat’s New Years Resolution Countdown to Failure. My past projects for attaining perfection have included: returning to my wedding day weight (which I might add was “accomplished” for only one day…out of the 19,860 days I have been on this earth); exercising daily in order to complete a half marathon by spring; cancelling amazon prime and only shopping local; writing a novel; organizing every room in the house; reading a book a week; mastering 12 new crafts in a year; journaling every morning and evening; and having a unbreakable once-a-week date night with my guy…you get the picture, a yearly recipe for disaster and disappointment.
This year, thanks to my pal the pandemic, I have been forced to slow down…to spend time in my head, to forgive my faults, and I have many of them. I talk too much, I eat too much, I judge too much, I give too much, I plan too much, I care too much…it is just all way too much. When you are running a business, raising kids, keeping up your house, helping your man run their businesses, over volunteering, and the extended family holiday maven…being “too much” is how you survive, because if you slow down or stop…you might not be able to start up again.
Given the gift of time, of quiet, and of calm I have learned that maybe it is not about getting rid of my faults, but about calming them a bit…maybe it is just time to lose the “too much”.
This morning, while my people enjoyed a cozy weekend alarm-free sleep in, Jasmine and I went for a walk. Dogs understand the concept of living in the moment…with a bounce in their step they appreciate every smell, poop, and furry creature they meet. We set out on our journey with no deadlines, no agenda…just out to enjoy the world. We discovered some chalk art and a lucky penny. We experienced many 2021 smiles…no teeth, all eyes. We received a text with the most glorious picture of a friend’s parents…who now feel a bit more safe and are everything I hope to be at their age (seriously, look at those smiles and heads of hair…goals). Jasmine and I arrived home refreshed and invigorated…greeted by our happy refrigerator…covered in rainbow art and butterflies. Being content is delicious.
Twenty three days in…my resolution was to accept that it is ok to just be just enough. I wake up grateful for my healthy family and for the chance to create my day. Days where I declare three attainable goals…and if I don’t reach them, that’s ok…because tomorrow there will be another shot.
Exercise (a long walk with my Jasmine)…doing something sweet for someone (leaving my lucky penny on a bench for someone else to find)…and writing a swoon…a successful day already. Goals that in no way lead to perfection…but they made me happy, and that is enough.