Brave?

Recently a few people went out of their way to tell me how brave I am. I do not consider myself brave. According to many, admitting that my BMI is over thirty is an act of bravery. Well ok then, I guess I am brave…and fat. As of today, I am also vaccinated (Rd 1) because I had the “strength” to admit what anyone with eyes can see.

Being overweight causes many reactions in people. I know this because I have been itty bitty… and I have been chunky…right now according to a math equation developed in 1830 by a man…I am obese. Thanks Adolphe Jacques Quetelet…your chart is creating such self-hate that people are refusing to admit their BMI even if it means they can get a vaccine that will save their lives. Bravo.

When you have had the gift, yes, gift, of experiencing life at many different weights you see people as they really are. When you are fat…most people do not say you look beautiful as you enter a room, people don’t compliment your outfit, your picture is taken less, and you are not worthy of peoples kind words, or a desk job greeting people…you lost that right with your “lack of self control and gluttony”. The host asks if you would like a “little” cake, like it is a challenge. The thin person, on their third glass of wine, teeth stained purple, is offered drink after drink. No issue celebrating…as long as it is with alcohol. When you are heavy your workplace buys t-shirts with the definition of inclusion on them…for a celebratory Inclusion Day event…but does not order one in your size (true story, this just happened to someone I know). Everyone is included but you.

Smoking, vaping, drinking, drugs…choices…hardships for people with the unfortunate body chemistry that makes controlling their impulses crazy difficult, the pulls that trip them up…their addictions. Food, there is no choice…you must eat it…you are tempted daily, hourly, minute by minute. There is no cold turkey option with food. Think about that. No option.

In the past year I have been given the gift of time, less work hours and more hours to cook really lovely meals, stay on top of needs and wants of those I love, learn a few new crafts, read, and organize my spaces. After a year of this gentle and cozy life…and after finding out my BMI means I am obese…I decided that it was time to focus on me.

What I learned is…there are vitamins that help with the spectacular mid-sectional developments women go through after 50, there is a calorie reduction plan that suites every person, sleeping 8 hours a night matters, exercising 2 or more hours a day and drinking 64-80 ounces of water…will all help you to successfully lose weight. I am down 9.5 pounds in the last 3 weeks. I feel great and I am proud. I am also furious at the judgment towards heavy people. You know what? Losing weight is expensive. Buying fresh produce and low-fat proteins is a privilege. Losing weight takes a lot of time. Committing to daily exercise, food prep, and shopping takes hours and hours of time.

Time. You know what I used to do with my time before the pandemic? Worked full time including nights and weekends. Kept two children, a husband, and many animals alive and organized. Was the event/holiday planner for the extended family. Ran a household…and did between 15-30 hours of volunteering and free design work for those in need every week. During that insane period of my life I did not have the luxury of peeing twice a day, let alone 15 times due to the “correct” amount of water one must drink. There was no free two hours for exercise. My life, my choice…and for those who happily accepted my hospitality or benefitted from my volunteer work…think twice before judging my weight. Think twice before judging anyones weight. Please.

I do not like double standards…all addictions suck. So to you liberal, save the world, don’t be racist or sexist adults who sit back and laugh along with your kids when they make fun of a fat person walking by, not ok. To you people who insist being overweigh is due to laziness or gluttony, take a break from your judgement and go do some volunteering. To those who struggle…I am sorry…I see you, and you count.

If I lose 10 or 100 pounds…I am still me. I notice how you have treated me at each and every one of my weights. Me…I am a person who tries to make this world a better place…and you know what?

I AM BRAVE… brave enough to call you out next time you are a fatist.