Feel the Joy

Kinehora…Pooh pooh pooh…knock on wood…break a leg.

Why is it so hard to celebrate the goodness in our lives guilt free? Why can’t a selfless 90-year-old woman receive a box of presents…and enjoy it without any baggage? Why do I feel a little nervous when receiving amazing news?

Soon after we moved to my childhood home, my mom found a little glass bead pinned to my crib, a “God’s Eye”. A little gift from my Grandma Bohjalian…keeping the evil away…thank you Grandma. Growing up we did “God’s Eye” crafts, rainbow yarn wrapped around and around x-shaped twigs, hung in the window to keep away bad stuff. I am not sure what that bad stuff was, but we did not want it in the house. Having Jewish friends and family we have adapted to saying Kinehora after sharing good news. Googling it to make sure I was spelling it right, I learned Kinehora comes from three Yiddish words…Kayn (not) Hara (the evil) Ayin (eye). Three, the number three…to ward off jealousy and bad luck. Slip up and express some joy? Three knocks on wood, or spit spit spit, or our family favorite, Pooh pooh pooh. Phew. We are safe.

After a year of trying to look on the bright side, even with deaths of really amazing people and not seeing my son for 13+ months…we received a lot of good news this week. I am taking the advice of a friend of few but always very wise words…listen to what the universe is telling you.

I am listening to the universe. It is telling me it is ok to be joyous. It’s ok celebrate my mother-in-law turning 90 by showering her with gifts and a tiara. It’s ok to be exuberant about my nephew’s college acceptances. I will continue to cry happy happy tears while planning the reunion with my newly vaccinated son.

The ability to just feel our feels without any guilt or worry…what a concept. I hope to be able to get there someday. Until then, I will settle for…swoon swoon swoon.