A Roz Chast cartoon was being forwarded on social media last week, A Year-At-A-Glance pie chart. January is the biggest piece, February is a bit smaller, then March, April, and so on. November and December are barely there, slivers in time, gone in a blink.

January, not much to look forward to, the coldest of the cold ahead. Snow shoveling and frigid walks, long gray days. Oh January, does anyone like you?

I blame everything on the month at this time of year… it was January’s fault that my Zoom stopped working. An exercise Zoom scheduled with friends, I was a gray rectangle…a meeting with clients, still a gray void. Following advice from online geniuses (try restarting the computer) I got the camera working again…and there I was…upside down and silhouetted in space.

This is Major Tom to Ground ControlI’m stepping through the door…And I’m floating in a most peculiar way…And the stars look very different today…

Thinking about David Bowie, sigh…he died in January…of course he did.

January, means a plethora of annual doctor appointments for me. Scheduled with a why not, there is nothing else going on attitude. Doctors investigating every orifice of my body…for a month straight…not the best plan. My mouth has a temporary crown, my right breast has been abused by numerous sonogram machines, and the rest I will just keep to myself.

My dentist is a great guy. He and his wife welcome each patient as they arrive. The dog in the waiting room in front of the electric fireplace of “crackling wood”. There is soft recognizable music playing and pictures of their daughters on the mantle. They go out of their way to make everyone feel comfortable. Heaven. Today I looked at the poor man and said, I’m sorry, I hate to be rude but I really don’t want to be here and I need to put in my earphones before you start drilling, the sounds make me so sick, I like YOU but I really really hate being here. Laughing, he told me he has heard it all and has developed a thick skin. I wonder if January knows most people hate it? I wonder if it sends us snow storms in retaliation for our disdain.

Poor January.

With a restart AND a reinstall…Zoom was back and I was no longer floating in space.
That is my slaphappy borderline going insane face, my family knows it well.

Published by Kat

A mom, a wife, a daughter, a friend, a graphic designer. I am flawed... but I try.

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