I got you…

Monday. My kids used to be extra squirrelly on Monday mornings, now it is my little guy who is a bit off. I try to be understanding, it doesn’t always work, Mondays are hard for me too. Oscar Monday mornings are especially difficult. I am usually in bed by 10pm, staying up after midnight is not my thing.

I don’t really remember watching the Oscars as a kid. We watched Miss America…voting for our favorites, yelling at the tv, dad usually picking the winner from the first parade of states…but not the Oscars. I was a teenager when I started watching, and a twenty-something when it became a yearly thing, a party, an event not to be missed. College friends would come over, we would fill out ballots, there were prizes. The preshow parade of dresses graded by a bunch of graphic designers and illustrators, we were harsh. Crazy amounts of food for noshing, especially Twizzlers, popcorn, and wine. What a disgusting combination. People moving and babies soon got in the way, sleep became more important than long acceptance speeches.

Last night we watched the Oscars, the days of treats and wine long gone. We had chicken, a cabbage salad, and roasted veggies. The dresses featured legs and cleavage, lots of solid brilliant colors, bold and secure. Three women hosting, starting out with a bang…joking that they hired three women for the price of one man. Sad but probably accurate. Some truly inspiring speeches, Ariana DeBose made me weep, so tender and strong at the same time. Troy Kotsur signing his speech while Youn Yuh-jung looked on like a proud mom, holding his award for him. I hope he looked back to see the sea of waving hands as he exited the stage. Uniting and encouraging…until the incident.

I am not one for men hitting people to show how much they love “their women”. Dude she can take care of herself, she is badass. Your silence would have been your first win of the night, calmly educating the public about why the joke was not funny would have been your second win, the award itself would have been the third. I also am not one for mean jokes. I don’t think the pain of others is funny… not having alopecia, being overweight, or any other hardship… it’s not necessary, it’s cheap and sloppy.

Apologizing is so hard. I am pigheaded and tend to think I am right…a lot. With age comes the realization that apologizing with grace is a superpower that we should all strive for. The “apology” witnessed last night (to everyone except for the one who was hit) was painful to watch. How about I frigging lost my mind, I was nervous and anxious, the joke was cruel and it clearly upset my wife, I love my wife, I lost my cool and I am so very sorry.

It’s so easy to know what to say after the fact…or from the livingroom while in really cozy pjs and a sleeping dog on your lap.

People who know how to say the right thing are my heroes. People who make it all good with their words. People with comfort and grace oozing from their being. I am in awe of those people…and Lady Gaga is one of them. While presenting with the living legend Liza Minnelli, Lady Gaga taught the masterclass…in class.

Overwhelmed and struggling a bit, Liza Minnelli looked lost. Gaga bent down and whispered, I got you. She then read the long list of nominees and passed the envelope to Ms Minnelli…so she could announce the winner.

Will Smith said he was just trying to love and protect his wife…it was a fail. Minutes later, with three little words, Lady Gaga showed us all how it’s really done.

I got you… swoon.