For Jacob & Ella… your very own Swoon

Our “kids” just got married and there will probably be many Swoons to come about the process of being a wedding coordinator, but this one is about my Swoon.

It started with…

Mom, do you want to do a toast, or should dad, or do you both want to? Then it became, Mom, can you do the talk during the ceremony, something about love? Dad and Teresa will do the toasts. Then it became something like you don’t need a theme, just do the church ceremony talk, it should be kind of big because we don’t want anything too too religious so Pastor Debbie is going to keep her’s short.

Pressure.

How hard can writing a speech to be read in front of 150 people on one of the most emotional and raw days in your life be? It isn’t like I have some sort of disability that blocks what my eyes are reading and what my mouth is saying… oh wait…I do have that disability. My friends told me it would all work out. I have beautiful friends.

I have received many requests for copies of my Swoon to the “kids”, so I am posting it here. It is more of a typical Swoon than a wedding speech, but I guess that is to be expected. When you get to the “game” take note, when the mother of the bride heard the first prompt…the look on her face was one of both shock and delight, her reaction will stay with me forever. She is a fun lady.

Here goes…

Wow, you are so so very beautiful. Welcome and thank you for sharing this overwhelming and delicious weekend with us. 

If someone asked me to create a perfect moment, this might be it…well, actually, I would have have my dad sitting next to my mom and I would have Mark Ritts sitting next to Teresa. I believe they are here with us today, enjoying the festivities, eating some heavenly jelly beans, and taking it all in.

Taking it in…being present enough to take mental photographs. Visual blips captured in our minds forever. Those moments we return to again and again…when we need a push, a virtual hug, or a bit of confidence. 

The night before our wedding a dear family friend pulled me aside. Kat she said,
you two have done everything you can to make tomorow what you want it to be,
now is the time to enjoy it… and most of all remember it. Freeze moments and take mental snapshots. They will stay with you forever. 

It was one of the best pieces of advice I have ever received, and I try to apply it to all of the amazing moments in my life.

Jacob, I had never experienced instantaneous love, until the moment I met you. I knew we were two peas in a pod when my water broke at 12:01 am…on your due date.

You naturally woke up at 5 am…so we could read, craft, and play before I had to go to work…we had a full day of curiosity and creativity before most people were even awake. You continue to be innovative and an incredible problem solver, and you are ridiculous and fun. From sculpting your hair for crazy hair day to supplying you with found objects to make your masterpieces…we have done a lot of really amazing things together. 

Dad once said, our 22 year delayed maternity leave drive across the country was “my masterpiece” in parenting you. But I think the parenting moment I am most proud of was towards the end of that drive. 

While experiencing the splendor of Monument Valley, I noticed you were becoming a pile of nerves the closer we got to the West Coast. I asked you if you wanted to call Ella and see if she wanted to fly out and meet us in Vegas. 

I knew it was time to cut the umbilical cord…
so that you and Ella could start your life together …
driving into your new home state as a couple.

To the surprise of anyone who knows the bond I have with my kids, this was actually a really easy decision…because Ella…Ella has always been the right one. 

From the moment she somehow levitated down her Baltimore brownstone steps
to “meet her friend Jacob’s mom” …
then…leapt into the backseat of our already at capacity Prius…
settling horizintally across the back seat passengers…
I knew I liked this human very very much. 

When Jacob mentioned that “there was a girl”,
my mind went right to Ella, because of course it was Ella, it was always meant to be Ella. 

How could it not be? As you all know, is not hard to love this lady…
she sparkles, she exudes positivity, she fits into any group, and she does all this while being incredibly hard working, intelligent, and ridiculously talented.

Ella made our kid swoon, and there is nothing better than a good swoon. 

Ella and Jacob, you are so very right for each other…
you survived a global pandemic as new apartment mates, you create amazing themed parties, you make beautiful music together, you raise our two grandkitties like pros,
and you both embrace and love eachothers families… as of they were your own.

You two are one of those rare couples that truly fit.
Spectacular on your own…but udder perfection together. 

There are many times have I have learned from you both. I love your love…
your admiration…patience…kindness…playfulness, and support for one another.
You are each other’s best cheerleaders. Please aways be thankful for the privilege of having each other…because it is a gift.

One of the best things about big weddings is experiencing a room full of people from different parts of your lives all together at once…a group that might never meet, if it were not for you.

So here is where we get creative, in honor of our game loving son Jacob…
and the deceptively competitive Ella… we are going to play a game. 

Here are the rules.
Anytime you identify with a prompt, please raise your hand up high, then you can put it down. Please don’t be shy, in order to work, everyone really needs to particiapte.
It would be horrible if my first game failed in front of a bunch of game designers.

Please raise your hand if you…

have had Jacob or Ella in your uterus…or witnessed their birth
have known either of them for more than 10 years 
have ever played games with them?
have worked with them?
have vacationed or lived with them?
and finally, please raise your hand if you love Ella and Jacob.

Someone recently said to me that they thought big weddings were a waste. At first I found it an odd comment…given who they were talking to…but after I thought about it, I was grateful. It made me think. 

What is the value of having almost everyone that you care about in this world…
together in celebration? 

People you have known since birth, friends you went through puberty with,
your college besties, your workmates and mentors, family friends, and relatives…
Having all the people who have helped create who you are…all in one room. 

I think the answer for most would be… priceless.
Having you all here, creating this beautiful moment is absolutely priceless.

Jacob and Ella, now it is the time…
the time to hold eachothers hands and to look at this group,
and take a mental snapshot of this sea of perfection… 

now archive it…
archive it for when you can’t stand eachother,
archive it for when life is serving up some bumps…
because there are always bumps in a well-lived life. 

Remember these glorious faces and what it feels like to be surrounded by joy.
Remember what your young, smooth, and soft hands feel like intertwined…

Because at this moment…at this moment…everything is right in your world.
Because with the kind of love you feel right now…you two can get through anything. 

…and that was that, I did it and I didn’t trip up too much because I too was looking out into a sea of love and support. It. Was. Awesome.

Photo: Jacob and Ella at the spectacular Hudson River Museum, Yonkers, NY