Words

Words: Swoon 26

I was recently told “girl, you have a lot of words, you win”. My gut tells me this was not a compliment (I have a very intuitive and well fed gut). I am sure I have deserved that statement many many times, this time, not so much, but it is what it is.

To be fair, I do have a lot of words… and sometimes my edit button does not work. I have insulted the Pope, I have unintentionally made people feel stupid, I have called out a volunteer for doing something uncaring (it was what she was told to do). A lot of words. (imagine cringe emoji here)

In discussions… I make points, then I rephrase points, then I illustrate them with quotes and articles. It is not about winning (I cheat at games a regular basis to lose or have everyone come out even… which aggravates my family to no end), it is about trying to be clear. I can see how this is exhausting. The truth is I am just trying to figure out and explain what is in my head. Note: inside my head is a never ending loop of… images, plans, to dos, ideas, articles, lists, conversations, show tunes, quotes, podcasts, art, you name it… coming to view at a very high speed at once. It is kind of overwhelming.

In trying to have a more positive presence in this world and avoid disagreements that are loops to nowhere, I have begun to reach out and talk to people one on one. To discuss positive traits rather than harp on the negative points that are usually so much easier to discuss. To give and receive positive energy. There is more listening, learning, and appreciating… because being good listeners does not mean our words don’t count, it just means we have more words to choose from.

Maybe someday someone will tell me… girl, you are the best listener… until then I can keep trying.