Mama Wama

I took this picture of the Fire Island fridge to remind me to breathe and regroup. It is from my Ella…Ella who sees, Ella who takes in, Ella who gives both subtle and not so subtle loves to all around her. She is my son’s girlfriend or better yet, partner. My cozy names for Ella are little bit and Ella Ella Ella, she calls me Mama Wama. I love that.

After evacuating Fire Island in preparation for Henri I planned a luxurious lazy morning… social media catch up, reading, getting some work done, and hopefully swooning. A FB post by my friend April, moved me to the point of insta swoon…the rest will wait. April is a Renaissance woman, a teacher, gardener, musician, podcaster, and visual artist. She is one of those women who inspires others, always trying new things, always game for an artistic adventure. Her morning poem touched my soul… here are a few of my favorite parts…

the rain is coming
after borrowing mom’s car
leave the windows open

a nice fresh towel
mom hung up in the bathroom
gets the toothpaste off

let’s adopt a cat
it’s not hard to take care of
when mom does it all

we know how to clean up
we bring all the dishes back
leaving them near the sink

Oh my gosh, every mom I know has been there. I will never understand any human would puts dishes in or next to a sink. What is with that?

My glorious Fire Island week, with a full nest and constant guests, with abundant moments of gloriousness, and ridiculous amounts of work…three days in I was on the verge of a meltdown. Ready to make the next meal I entered the kitchen, and there on the refrigerator was the Ella hug. The one not raised in the home, she could see, she noticed. Meltdown averted through a display of public appreciation. I went back to doing what I love…what I choose to do…what I watched my mom do in that very same house…creating a safe space where everyone can enjoy a bit of bliss, no worries or outside stress.

I go back and forth about how much we do for our kids…by we I mean the very hard working (yet privileged) people I am peers with. We did a lot for our kids, was it too much? Then I watch our kids go off to their jobs, to pay triple the rent we used to pay, understanding that the earth we are leaving them is broken, and that the political division is probably not fixable. When I see all that they deal with, and how well they adapt to their work environments and living situations I think maybe all we did for them rubbed off, maybe it is all ok.

I choose to cook for the masses, to create comfortable spaces…to be a superior carpenter of homemaking. I am blessed with also running a design firm and getting satisfaction from volunteering. Life is about choices and balance, and when it gets overwhelming, a little appreciation goes a long way…thanks Ella.