February, March, and April mean daily flashbacks to high school play production goodness, birthday celebrations, and vacations in Florida. Nanny and kids playing at the beach, insulation foam “pies”, parties, museum visits…and happy happy faces.
I am a bad mother…I completely adore when my son has a long commute home from work. On those days we chat, and since I am a failure at Star Wars, most pop culture, anything technical or Marvel…we tend to reflect on life. Last week he mentioned how insane our house was when he was a teenager. I could not deny it, it was. It was chaos, it was loud, it would not have been a fun sitcom to watch.
Then he asked why… why was it so nuts?
Sigh. Maybe because…living with teenagers is no easy trick, everything is in flux…social, educational, and emotional challenges appear what feels like out of nowhere, it is like standing on an island and hearing a tsunami warning with nowhere to go…I was just starting my own business, working at least 12+ hours a day…there were no viable medical insurance options back then for small businesses so we lived on edge, only covered for catastrophic illnesses…dad was back at school getting his masters while teaching preschool, after school classes, and college classes in another state, oh and illustrating at night…we were brought up to volunteer so anytime someone asked, we rolled up our sleeves and helped…I was still going for semi-annual checkups for a tumor removed from my mouth, it was a black cloud of stress over my head…oh, and we had no cleaning person, no lawn person, no handy person…none of it.
We acted insane…because we were, but we did the best we could given what we were working with.
One of the nice things about our kid is he completely gets it, and for that I am thankful.
Last night we were at a 50th birthday party, talk of colleges and middle schools galore. Listening to delightful people talking about struggles with their teens, the overwhelming college process, the stress. They were IN it, and I did not envy them. As we left I ran into my brother-in-laws bestie from high school, they moved to NY together in the early 90s. We got to the how are the kid’s…and he said mine is 12…on the younger spectrum of this party…I am hearing a lot of stuff that makes me really scared. I couldn’t lie so I smiled and said, oh, you should be, it is kinda hellish for all involved…but the good news is…it gets much much better.
To my dear Jacob and Olivia…I am so sorry for the insanity, take a look at the pictures, we had some fun times too! Oh, and I love you to the moon and back…always have.